Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Learning to be a soccer mom

Seriously, people, I feel like an idiot. How hard can it be?

Well, turns out - it can be amusing. And make me feel like I'm back at DisneyWorld where I managed to lose 3 or 4 apartment keys in 6 weeks. Oh, my lands.

So, here are my "soccer-mom" tips in case you aren't there yet - maybe at least the amusingness won't be directed at you.

1. Be sure you know where you are going. Because if you think about it, the games won't always be at the same field because then you would only be playing one other team. And that might get boring.

2. If you miss the first practice, you will have very little idea what is going on. But, you will also miss the snack sign up list, and it might be full by the 2nd practice, so you will not have to bring a snack. One. less. thing. to. forget. Could be a good thing. I'm just saying.

3. Do not assume that if you child does not have a game, there will still be practice. Cause there might not be. But, if you paid attention to number 1, you are safe. Because you would know that there is no practice because you would realize that you have no idea where you are going.

4. Do NOT wait until 1/2 hour before it is time to leave to find the uniform and shinguards. Because they might be in the washer. Wet. Which makes wearing the uniform and shinguards uncomfortable for your kid.

5. Once again, let me repeat - be sure that you know where you are going. Even if you have to take your older child to her activity first. Otherwise, you will have to call a friend and ask her to please look up on the internet where you are supposed to be in 15 minutes. It is ALWAYS a good idea to know where you are going.

6. Be sure you get a coach that will call and remind you about picture day. Because otherwise you might forget and your child will not be in the official uniform like all the other kids whose mom's are much better at being a soccer mom. (Thanks, Coach, for the phone call.)

7. Do not, I repeat, do not repeatedly mention how excited you are for your kid to be in their first soccer game. You run the risk of the kid missing their first goal and crying for the REST of the 40 minute game because he is not very good at soccer. Even if he is only 4, and no one expected him to be a soccer star. Even if he IS pretty good at soccer. Even if Dad is there. Even if Dad repeatedly talks up being a team player and having fun. The rest of the game, people. You were warned.

8. Number 4 bears repeating. Otherwise, you might do it 2 weeks IN A ROW.


devildogwife said...

**giggle** I'm lucky that all of our games are at the same field and practice is every Friday. lol!

My tip: wash uniforms and practice cloths and place everything in one bag until needed. I learned this one after searching all over the house for gear last year.

It really does get easier. ;)

Jeanine said...

Hee hee! From one soccer mom to another...AMEN! I totally relate to every single one of those...still do, and this is our third year! Great post!

Laurie said...


You had me on the floor laughing! And by the way, you're welcome for the directions!

Renee said...

Oh how I feel your pain! I’ve been there – done all that too. Hang in there, it will get better as time goes – you know . . just when you get it . . the seasons over :-( And they call this Life! ugh

Michelle said...

Too funny! I could totally relate with #4 from our first season of baseball this past summer. I wonder, are wet shinguards more comfortable than wet athletic cup supporters?

Kristie said...

Hey! Love your blog! This is our first year for soccer and I have all four playing. We are busy 3 nights a week with games and Sunday afternoons for practice. If only their practices were at the same time! But all the practices and games are at the same place, so that is pretty fun. It seems half the town turns out for soccer!

chrissy said...

This was fun to read. I'm sure i'll be there someday (maybe about four years). Glad to hear that there is hope for punkin's tooth.

Mary@notbefore7 said...

OH MY! Those days are not yet upon me....good luck ;)


Betty said...

You could be one of my favorite writers of all time AND I feel I am more prepared for being a soccer (or whatever) mom!
I dig your blog! You are inspiring me to actually keep better tabs on mine, but don't take it personally when I don't do it well! :)